How Do I Find My Lifetime Soulmate?
There are a number of ways to find a soulmate on the Internet.
Through a newsgroup.
Through a chat site.
By finding sites which give free photos, profiles and addresses of women.
By advertising in, or answering ads from, dating and personals sites.
By buying postal addresses and services from introduction agencies.
By placing your own ad in overseas sites or catalogues.
By joining a matchmaking service, be it a personalised one or a computer generated type.
By taking an organised tour to meet selected women.
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Interest Groups and Chat Sites
Finding someone who is compatible by joining discussion groups and chat sites is highly unlikely and would only really happen by chance. Join up and sit in to see how they work. Many people really enjoy them but I personally find those I have visited to be mindless and boring, which is not to say there are not some really worthwhile discussion sites. You would join these for the interest not for seeking a soulmate.
ICQ Real Time Chatting
ICQ is a user-friendly Internet tool that informs you who's on-line at any time and enables you to contact them at will. ICQ does the searching for you, alerting you in real time when contacts log on. With ICQ, you can chat, send messages, files and URL's, play games, or just hang out with your fellow 'Netters' while still surfing the Net.
http://www.yahoo.com/
Yahoo Search Engine
Type the word 'chat' in the search box and you will be presented with chat sites on most topics.
A Place to Find Interest Groups.
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Free Sites
Here is a place to see a growing list of free sites. Sites which allow you to contact their members for free. Some allow only the initial contact or restrict the number of free contacts per day.
You may think that the women on these sites would be inundated with replies. This is often not the case as some of these sites do not advertise the fact that their members addresses are free.
Be aware that there are also some free sites on the web that provide addresses and sometimes an Email address of foreign women. But even though free to you, the woman on the other end is paying or sometimes the Agency who placed the ad will ask for money for the ladies address. (Delete these). If you do start a correspondence with a lady from a free site, it is considered proper to offer to pay the expenses she incurs in writing to you and getting your letters.
Friendfinder - Free to Join
Adult Friendfinder - Free to Join
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Dating and Personals Sites
There are many, many sites which allow men and women to place an advertisement to be read by their prospective soulmate.
Some charge you a monthly fee to place an advertisement and to answer an unlimited number of ads placed by the opposite sex.
Some allow you to place an ad for free but you must pay a regular fee to reply to ads.
A few, such as Excite Classifieds allow full exchange for free.
Do they work? Yes, especially for women and especially for women who post a photo with their profile. they often receive hundreds of replies.
It not so easy for men. A man will have more success by replying to the women's ads.
The amount of succes will depend directly on your "advertising skills." How well you write a reply and who you choose to reply to.
Once you're a member, most dating services have some kind of system for emailing you details of new ads that fit your criteria, and that certainly cuts out a lot of wasted online time searching for yourself. You can normally join for a month, three months, six months or one year.
One of the things to decide is whether or not to reply to women who have no access to the Internet. Those that you can only contact by postal mail.
Obviously the Internet provides quick contact and allows regular exchanges over very short intervals of time.
The big advantage of replying to those with only postal access is that you will not have nearly as much competition, and you will have much more time to craft your letters to her.
With the prevalence of email some of the pay-by-the-month sites are getting more and more foreign women on them and they appear to have Email addresses. Sounds great, but the problem is that they don't usually have their own Email. The women usually have to use Email and translation services in their own country, which you are often asked to pay for. In fact, many of these ads are just "fronts" for this other service, usually located overseas--as soon as you send an Email, you will get back a pitch for their services, directing you to their web site. Or they could come back and say your lady of choice is "not available" and then proceed to sell you on their own pen pal address services. So what sounds like a great deal just isn't in the long run. Most agencies will provide you free access to their members but if you get a doubtful reply, or one asking for money, just head for the delete key.
Advantages
Placing an ad is usually free.
Including a photo with your ad is free. It takes a couple of days for the photo to appear, but it's really essential if you want to get many replies.
Browsing ads is free.
You can't usually reply to them, but at least you can see if there are enough people in the database who appeal to you before you sign up.
Email notification of new ads.
A brilliant service - it's part of most membership deals, but you get new ads just about every day and you only need to go to the site to look at the ones that appeal to you.
Voice files.
Again, usually free - except for the call charges, which can be significant if you don't live in the US. With some, you can record 1 minute "tasters" which are stored as wav files and up to 5 minutes of real audio. If it's offered and you don't sound like a squeaky wheel, take advantage of it - it makes your ad stand out and many people are more aural than visual.
Confidentiality.
If someone replies to your ad, they do it through the service - your email address isn't given out. It's then up to you if you want to respond to them or not. With some services however, if you respond to someone else's ad, your email address is sent to them with your reply.
Disadvantages
Out of Date Ads.
It's better to stick to those services which give the date the ad was posted and some tell you when the member was last online.
Details Are Unverified.
Apart from removing any urls or email addresses from ads (so people can't reply without being members) and sometimes checking that the city you say you live in actually exists, absolutely no verification of details is done. Provided they're not considered obscene or inflammatory, ads will be posted exactly as submitted. You have no idea if the photo is of the advertiser or whether they are telling the truth about themselves or not. Apparently, women most often lie about their age and men about their height! You have to saty alert for clues that some is not being entirely truthful. Ofcourse, if you are seeking a lifetime partner it would be incredibly stupid to lie about yourself. You could only destroy a blossoming relationship when the truth comes out.
Irrelevant and Unsuitable Replies.
Especially if you're a woman, you'll get replies from lots of unsuitable people, however carefully you specify the kind of person you're looking for. That's not always a bad thing - I responded to someone whose age range didn't include me, but we clicked almost immediately - but it can be very irritating if you've specifically said you want to meet people over 6 foot tall and you have to wade through loads of replies from guys of 5ft 6" and under. And when I say "loads of replies" - that can mean hundreds of them!
Ad Writing Skill Almost Essential.
Unless you're used to writing copy, creating an ad that gets responses can be very difficult. Your ad is your showcase - if you want replies from the right kind of people, your ad needs to reflect who you are as attractively as possible.
Friendfinder - Free to Join
- Use this one for instant email contacts all over the world -
Friend Finder is the quality and size leader in online personals! With over 1.8 million active members and over 3.2 million registered members, we're the largest personals site on the web! Every day, over 10,000 people join so you'll always find new friends at Friend Finder.
A Foreign Affair
- Use this one for everything you need from an introduction service -
A Foreign Affair - An international introduction dating and marriage service for singles wishing
to meet Russian, Asian and Latin women for correspondence, love and marriage.
Sexyads - For the Wilder side of Dating
-Use this one for sexually explicit personals ads....Free to join.-
Get Wild!
Personals Chat Stories.
Helene International Marriage Agency
- Addresses, email forwarding and everything you need to find your Russian Bride.
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Introduction Agencies.
Introduction agencies often offer many services such as translation, express mail and instant telephone connection.
These agencies generally exist in the foreign country itself, although a number are based in the USA and have a contact in a foreign city. Some are entirely Internet based, but many operate as a walk-in agency. You pay to view profiles of women in that city and to have them set you up with appointments to meet as many of them as you wish. The big difference is that you have to go to that foreign city to use these services. They usually have a place for you to stay very close to the agency or even at the agency itself. And interpreters as well. Many have parties where the ratio to women to men is 10 to 1. You are meeting the ladies on their turf, and you will meet lots of them in a very short span of time. Being in a strange country with few language skills is much aided by going the full service route. You are around a comfortable environment, meeting not only the ones you see in the files, but also the ones who drop by spontaneously.
The problem here is that you have only 7 to 10 days to make a choice and this choice is being made in an 'artificial' atmosphere.
If you have several thousand dollars to spend then I recommend that you find your lady by mail (or email) and correspond for several months before taking a 'tour' to see her.
A Foreign Affair
- Use this one for everything you need from an introduction service -
A Foreign Affair - An international introduction dating and marriage service for singles wishing
to meet Russian, Asian and Latin women for correspondence, love and marriage.
Helene International Marriage Agency
- Addresses, email forwarding and everything you need to find your Russian Bride.
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Advertising Yourself Overseas
This can be fairly expensive and the main problem is that about 90% of the replies you will get will be unsuitable. Chemistry between two people is based on a combination of intellectual and visual characteristics. You will save much time by only attempting to communicate with those who match your criteria and whose photo in some way attracts you as well.having said this, recent reports from Russia seem to show a great deal of succes with advertiements in regional papers and Pravda. Men are regularly receiving hundreds of replies from educated Russian women.
Try This One:
A Foreign Affair
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Matchmaking Services
Matchmaking is generally recognised as a service which makes some attempt to match people with similar characteristics and requirements in a soulmate.
Detailed information is gathered about the members who are then matched by a person or a computer and matching couple informed of the results.
Reverse matches ensure the match goes both ways. Some services are internet only, others have local offices as well.
There are few real matchmakers on the Internet. Most who claim to be matchmakers are simply personals lists or at best have a computer 'matching' system with only a few criteria. These are mostly quite mis-leading.
Advantages
You only need to be able to supply a good description of yourself and your requirements. Your details are initially seen only by the matchmaker and by the software system used. Matching is done on the basis of information provided, not on how well you can write an ad.
Weighted scoring.
Some things you may be looking for (or not looking for) are more important to you than others. For example, if you specify a non-smoker, it probably wouldn't matter how well someone suited you in other ways, if they smoke you wouldn't be interested. Matchmakers can "weight" information to take this into account.
Reverse matching.
One of the major differences between dating and matchmaking services is that the matchmaker matches both ways, ie the other person has to be interested in you as well. This can save you sending many replies to women who are not interested in you.
You should only receive suitable replies.
Your time.
Once you've submitted your information, you just sit back and wait for details of your matches to be sent to you ... you don't have to spend ages online hunting through thousands of ads.
Disadvantages
Cost.
Matchmaking is a personalised service, not simply a collection of ads hosted on a server; consequently, costs are higher and are often quoted weekly rather than monthly. On the other hand, they can be cheaper than subscribing to a number of introduction agencies and personals sites.
Waiting
Having submitted your information, you have to wait for the matchmaker to do the work and send you the results. Depending on the service, this could mean a week, a month, or anything in between.
Fewer responses.
You're only going to know about people who are mutually compatible, so the number of responses, or matches, you get isn't going to be particularly high although they will be very targetted.
Addicted to Love, Russian and Asian Women - A Guaranteed Matchmaking Service
Receive matched ladies photos and profiles in your email until you find your love.
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Tours
A number of Agencies offer tours to various countries such as the Former Soviet Union, Asian and Latin American countries.
They generally cost from about $3,000 upwards, sometimes plus the air ticket.
In my opinion these can be treated in two ways.
One: As a holiday to get the feel for a country and meet some suitable ladies, with the off-chance of meeting your soulmate.
Two: As a (rather expensive) way to meet someone you have been corresponding with and feel ready to see if it is the 'real thing.'
To take a tour without extended correspondence with one or more ladies, and expecting to find true love, is most likely to end in at least dis-appointment, or at worst, a quick choice ending in heart break.
The Best Tried and Tested Tours on the net
A Foreign Affair
Tours to St Petersburg in Russian, Kiev in Ukraine and to Columbia as well as individual travel services.
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First Contact - The Most Important
1. Take your time, give it some thought.
Do not send a 'standard' letter. It shows and will be taken as lack of interest or even as an insult. You will certainly nor be taken seriously.
Don't do it! If you want to meet someone, and you found their profile interesting enough to respond to, it is worth taking a few minutes to compose a thoughtful, personal reply - tell them what attracted you about their profile, what your interests are, and whatever other information you would like them to know about you! Ask them what else you would like to know about them.
2. How long will it take for her to reply?
Generally within a few days, but you have to remember that some people only check their mail once a week. Others may not have their own computer.
3. Some things NOT to say at first.
Do not talk about sex at first. Let the woman begin that topic, or at least wait until you have got to know each other.
Don't be negative, about anything.
Don't make excuses about anything.
Do NOT lie about anything. You will eventually be found out and may sour an otherwise promising relationship.
4. Sending email from your own email address
If you are emailing someone in your own country then it is recommended that you obtain an anonymous email address from Hotmail.com or one of the many others.
There's simply way too much information that can be obtained from your real e-mail. Most people don't reconfigure their internet mail programs to not list their names, etc. This can be dangerous. Just with your name, they can go to other internet sites and get your address, telephone number, etc. After you've corresponded for a time, perhaps even spoken on the phone, and feel this person is honorable, then you can give them more information about yourself.
A winning formula for letter writing.
1. Cheery greeting....Say something positive about her latest email.
2. Make a comment on EACH of her topics. Be interested in her!!!!
3. Ask about her day, her life, her interests.
4. Talk about your day.
5. Talk about something that interests you.
6. Talk about the possible future of the relationship (POSITIVELY)
7. End with something nice. "I look forward to your next email"
"Until we meet again in Cyberspace" "Take care" "Sweet dreams"
A few notes
Keep early emails light. Keep your life's tragedies for later.
Highlight the positive aspects of your life.
Learn more about the other person.
Keep your emails upbeat, optimistic and fun.
Make your reader smile and want more.
Avoid complaining, putting people down, feeling sorry for yourself or any relationship drama.
Remember that healthy relationships are built on a foundation of trust.
Be aware that certain expressions may be misunderstood. If you suspect that something you write might be misconstrued, then it probably will be. Skip it.
Take your time. Grammatically weak, misspelled or incorrectly punctuated profiles convey a sense of thoughtlessness and general sloppiness -- not a terrific first impression. Show that you care enough to proofread your profile.
DO NOT USE ALL CAPS. It looks childish.
Write your reply at the top of the page and delete all but the message you are replying to.
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